Kanye West at the Nobel Peace Prize Awards

December 10, 2009
[Wolfe Press]
OSLO — Leave it to Kanye West to produce one of the most infamous moments in Nobel Peace Prize history before the 2009 awards ceremony was even an hour old. It happened after President Barack Obama’s stunning victory in the Peace Prize category for all of his forthcoming accomplishments, which beat out many other contenders with actual achievements. Just moments after Obama accepted the Prize and began his acceptance speech, West stormed the stage, taking the microphone from Obama to announce that George W. Bush deserved the award.

“Thank you so much!” President Obama began. “I always dreamed about what it would be like to maybe win one of these some day, but I never actually thought it would have happened. I haven’t actually done much yet, so thank you so much for giving me a chance to win a Nobel Peace Prize.”

Before he could continue, West broke in. “Yo Barack, I’m really happy for you, I’ll let you finish, but W has had one of the best presidencies of all time. One of the best presidencies of all time!” Kanye shouted to a mortified Obama and the speechless audience. And as quickly as he ran onstage — CNN cut away to show the crowd applauding Obama, and when they flashed back to Obama, West already had the mic in his hand — he was off, leaving a shocked Obama in his wake.

“W, Bro, I’m sorry what I said bout Katrina. Dog, you got the dead presidents, all the Benjamins for Africa. Saving from AIDS, HIV – no homo – just homies. They tell me you saved more’n a million, maybe 10 million.”

“There could have been thousands turbans capped on the street after nine-one-one; you made it clear about a religion of peace”

“Muslim street said troops in Holy Places were an affront; you got ‘em to a new front. Street gave you no cred, so you broke bread for an Iftar. Sanctions were capping shorties, millions, so you liberated sixty millions more, unlike Al Gore.”

Everyone at the Oslo Palace Hall looked stunned, as the cameras captured an astonished and horrified George W. Bush still in his seat. Soon after, the audience gave a standing ovation in support of Obama. To add insult to injury, after Kanye handed the microphone back to Obama, his time was up, and CNN cut to a video featuring Bono. Minutes after the incident went down, aides to Norway’s King Harald V were feverishly typing into their phones phone when Bill Clinton came up for a chat. Topic of conversation? What else but West. “Like Bill just said, ‘It’s rock & roll,’ ” Harald V commented to us. “And the applause for [Obama] will be louder.”

According to sources at the Peace Prize ceremony, Obama was seen hysterically crying backstage after Kanye’s outburst, making it convenient that his lecture which immediately followed the acceptance speech, was prerecorded. (Obama gave a reprise performance of his stunning “Hope and Change” mantra.) …

* * *

Note: This is a parody which mimics the wording and structure of portions of a Rolling Stone article concerning Kanye West’s interruption of the MVA speech of Taylor Swift. Far from a violation of copyright, it is protected under fair use.

Yes, I am convinced beyond reasonable doubt that George W. Bush’s HIV/AIDS initiative alone would have merited a Nobel Peace Prize had he been a Democratic President. No, I’m not bothered he didn’t get one; too many of these have been given out to dubious political figures of late, and there are strong arguments against a man who, to put it very kindly, aggressively pushed the bounds of anticipatory self-defence.

-wolfe

5 Responses to “Kanye West at the Nobel Peace Prize Awards”

  1. Femalepersonage says:

    Yo wolfe this article is good and Imma let you finish but Bob Hawke is the best hysterically crying politician of all time. Of all time!

  2. wolfe says:

    @female lol. Seriously, I think this prize hurts him. It’s comedy gold. Dunno if you saw last week’s SNL coverage of him, but it was pretty sharp, and mostly from the left.

    There’s an element of irritation (or as you put it, crying) from conservatives in that of the last 8 or so prizes, four have been deliberate pokes in the eye with a sharp stick from the Norwegians, aimed at roughly half of America. (Jimmy Carter, Mohamed ElBaradei, Al Gore, and now Barack Obama).

    The prize committee even explicitly stated (back in ’02) that they were doing this (Carter) to criticize America. Now that’s all well and good, and Lord knows, America can stand to be criticized, like every other country in the world. But that’s not the purpose of the Nobel Peace Prize, and to turn it into that, in my view, demeans and devalues the prize.

    I’m not going to join that aspect of the chorus (they’re childishly using the prize as a weapon!) because of course it’s what leftists do. And in doing so they inevitably destroy the currency of whatever they are using as a weapon.

    I will criticize it because I think it adds to the “Emperor has no clothes” meme that’s already omnipresent with this President. And I will criticize it because it continues to degrade and destroy the currency and value of the prize.

    FWIW, poke in the eye or not, I think Jimmy Carter did deserve the prize for his work at Camp David, Habitat for Humanity, his support for the Helsinki Accords, and, very arguably, the Carter Center for Democracy.

    I think the idea that Messrs. ElBaradei, Gore, and Obama deserved it is risible. I think there are a lot of good and decent people that aren’t politicians who would have merited the prize more than these three.

    Incidentally, if Obama’s plans actually work (I don’t believe for a moment they will) then yes, he would deserve the prize down the line as much as George W. Bush.

    Something to scare you. [Full] Professors of History qualify as Nobel Peace Prize nominators.

    -wolfe

  3. Female says:

    I don’t the evidence base that thinking more clearly occurs after eating is really being demonstrated by full history professors in this case. Imagine what it would be like to have to sit through a class with one who was half-famished! Understanding Australian English would be an easier task than that.

    PS I asked for a pretzel in NY and the pretzel vendor(!!) who was selling nothing but pretzels(!!!) said he didn’t know where any pet-stores were!!!
    Oh yes. Guten-tag. And I never got that pretzel. Was too big anyway.

    I’m kind of surprised by the Norwegians immaturity, but then I remember they still hunt whales. You could console yourself with the fact that the prize money is going to charity, but I agree, it’s undeserved at this stage.

  4. Female says:

    No we don’t get SNL in Australia, they used to show short segments from it on a comedy show in australia about 10 – 15 years ago but that stopped (D-Generation) and there’s been nothing since. It might be on the Comedy Channel on Fox (cable) but I don’t want to pay thousands a year just for one good show.

  5. wolfe says:

    @female It’s unfortunate for the President, most of all.

    @female yeah I’m not much on hunting whales unless there is a sustainability issue (e.g. too many whales) or it’s native peoples keeping alive traditional hunting — e.g. Canada’s Inuit. As someone who loves history and culture, I’m all for the latter.

    @female yeah I struggle in NY in terms of accent. My accent is not REMOTELY local, it’s more sort of mid-atlantic, regionless english. I can do a passable southern, passable Canadian and passable BBC accent. I’ve never mastered NY/NJ/RI etc.

    -wolfe

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