December 10, 2009
OSLO — Leave it to Kanye West to produce one of the most infamous moments in Nobel Peace Prize history before the 2009 awards ceremony was even an hour old. It happened after President Barack Obama’s stunning victory in the Peace Prize category for all of his forthcoming accomplishments, which beat out many other contenders with actual achievements. Just moments after Obama accepted the Prize and began his acceptance speech, West stormed the stage, taking the microphone from Obama to announce that George W. Bush deserved the award.
“Thank you so much!” President Obama began. “I always dreamed about what it would be like to maybe win one of these some day, but I never actually thought it would have happened. I haven’t actually done much yet, so thank you so much for giving me a chance to win a Nobel Peace Prize.”
Before he could continue, West broke in. “Yo Barack, I’m really happy for you, I’ll let you finish, but W has had one of the best presidencies of all time. One of the best presidencies of all time!” Kanye shouted to a mortified Obama and the speechless audience. And as quickly as he ran onstage — CNN cut away to show the crowd applauding Obama, and when they flashed back to Obama, West already had the mic in his hand — he was off, leaving a shocked Obama in his wake.
“W, Bro, I’m sorry what I said bout Katrina. Dog, you got the dead presidents, all the Benjamins for Africa. Saving from AIDS, HIV – no homo – just homies. They tell me you saved more’n a million, maybe 10 million.”
“There could have been thousands turbans capped on the street after nine-one-one; you made it clear about a religion of peace”
“Muslim street said troops in Holy Places were an affront; you got ‘em to a new front. Street gave you no cred, so you broke bread for an Iftar. Sanctions were capping shorties, millions, so you liberated sixty millions more, unlike Al Gore.”
Everyone at the Oslo Palace Hall looked stunned, as the cameras captured an astonished and horrified George W. Bush still in his seat. Soon after, the audience gave a standing ovation in support of Obama. To add insult to injury, after Kanye handed the microphone back to Obama, his time was up, and CNN cut to a video featuring Bono. Minutes after the incident went down, aides to Norway’s King Harald V were feverishly typing into their phones phone when Bill Clinton came up for a chat. Topic of conversation? What else but West. “Like Bill just said, ‘It’s rock & roll,’ ” Harald V commented to us. “And the applause for [Obama] will be louder.”
According to sources at the Peace Prize ceremony, Obama was seen hysterically crying backstage after Kanye’s outburst, making it convenient that his lecture which immediately followed the acceptance speech, was prerecorded. (Obama gave a reprise performance of his stunning “Hope and Change” mantra.) …
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Note: This is a parody which mimics the wording and structure of portions of a Rolling Stone article concerning Kanye West’s interruption of the MVA speech of Taylor Swift. Far from a violation of copyright, it is protected under fair use.
Yes, I am convinced beyond reasonable doubt that George W. Bush’s HIV/AIDS initiative alone would have merited a Nobel Peace Prize had he been a Democratic President. No, I’m not bothered he didn’t get one; too many of these have been given out to dubious political figures of late, and there are strong arguments against a man who, to put it very kindly, aggressively pushed the bounds of anticipatory self-defence.